XII Family

The next six months were filled with fulfilling experiences. Christmas was right around the corner and it is my favorite time of year. It would be even more significant this year as I got to celebrate, all be it long distance, with my new family as well.

When I had been there in November and asked for a shot glass to prepare my cocktail, there was not one to be found in the house. I had made a mental note: Christmas present for my brother.

I had three custom shot glasses made. On one side was engraved: Pete, Rob, & Mike and on the other side: Brothers, Now & Forever. I kept one and sent two to Michael with a note

Michael, brother, friend How lucky are we to have found each other at this point in our lives? IMO, Damn lucky and filled with gratitude! I am sure dad and Pete are gazing from above and delighting in our reunion. Mission accomplished! Now they can focus on Teresa and Joanne…lol…actually, I assume they are. We will continue to carry the hope. Life got better on that Sunday morning in July. I longed for it, I was ready for it and then you showed up. Thank you again for having the courage to make that call. You are a blessing in my life, Michael! Everything happens for a reason…I had three of these created. One for my little brother, one for my big brother and one for myself. My hope is that one day we might visit our father and brothers final resting place and entomb Pete’s at his headstone. Now and forever, love you little brother!

I received, among other things, a coffee mug with the phrase ‘Happy Camper’ on it. My father and I shared a love of travel trailers and the idea of traveling about the country in general. I don’t think they had ever heard me say that phrase but I use it all the time in my day to day life. My nieces and nephew, on their own while their parents were out of town, made arrangements for a photographer (this was their Christmas gift to their parents. That’s the kind of kids they are) and sent me a beautiful framed photo of the three of them. The distance between us meant nothing. I spent the day with family, both near and far.

At the end of a work day in early February I was about to log off and head home when I got an email from Ancestry.com. “You have a new match of close family to 1st cousin”. I quickly logged on. Who was about to find out about me? The only person outside of Michael’s immediate family that knew was Teresa and she had not told her children. What would they think when they saw this name of close family they didn’t recognize? Remember, at this point we still don’t know if Michael and I are brothers or 1st cousins. Was this about to clarify that? Michael had asked me a few months before if I needed him to do a DNA test. I told him no unless he needed to.

He did not . It didn’t matter any longer. We were either very close brothers or very close 1st cousins. We liked the idea of being brothers and would carry on as such. Wilbur could be my father and Bill, Nancy and Steven could very well be my brothers and sister. I had embraced them as such in my heart early on.

It was Bill, DNA matched as my 1st cousin. It was a beautiful moment. Not only did this provide conclusive evidence of Michael and my relationship as brothers, but it meant that I would soon have contact with my cousins, Bill and Christen. I quickly sent a text to Michael informing him of this new development. He would call Bill that evening and explain it all. Bill was the family member we had always talked about telling next as he and Michael are pretty close. Actually, with but a few exceptions, this entire clan is very close and connected. It was during that call that the idea of ‘The Lemonade Master” was manifested by my brother describing me to Bill.

Bill would take the lead as to when and how he informed his family, which included my aunt Barb. Not long after this Michael, Bill, Christen and myself had a long phone chat. Once again, and it always makes my heart swell every time it happens, the first thing they comment on is how much I look and sound like my father and brother. My speech patterns are evidently very similar as well. Just like Michael and Michelle, easy to talk to and looking forward to meeting them…it would turn out sooner than later that I would. Not long after this Bill traveled home to see his family and informed them all about me. We have all made contact thru messaging and social media.

Sidebar: Once again, we find out how uncle Ted has been working behind the scenes to bring all of this about. He didn’t tell us this during our phone chat in November but right before he told Michael in July, he had visited Bill in Arizona. He brought up the subject of DNA testing. Bill informed him that he had done a different brand of DNA test already. Ted, as a passing thought, encouraged him to maybe try the Ancestry test for he had and found some interesting information about our family. Bill forgot about it until Christmas. He admits he is hard to buy gifts for so when pressed for ideas came up with the Ancestry DNA test…and the rest is recent history

This also brought another issue to the forefront of our situation. With the exception of Michael’s mother, who would never know about me, there was one other close family member that needed to be informed now that the rest of the family would be finding out..Our sister Joanne. There has been some tension in the family, as there is in all families, where as Joanne was not in communication with her siblings. Due to the loving intervention of my dear sister n law, Michelle, Michael and Joanne had a phone conversation in February. Michael explained ‘me’ and passed on a letter I had written her as an introduction and clarification of my intentions. She asked him a couple of questions but didn’t have much of a reaction beyond that.

I have not heard from Joanne nor has Michael since then. I hope to someday but I respect her choices and, as always, will leave the door slightly ajar should she ever desire a connection.

April became a big month for me in general. Around Easter and our fathers birthday my sister Teresa chose to tell her children and make contact with me. A testament to trusting the universe and its timing. I was overjoyed! It started with a simple Facebook friend request from her. I then received friend requests from my niece, Jess and my nephew, Kent.

Sidebar: I believe Michael and Michelle continually shared their firsthand experience of me with her there by alleviating her concerns about my character and intentions. They encouraged her to read my blog which I believe gave her even more insight into who I am.

I think there are 4 or 5 of us…maybe more who have birthdays in April. My father, Bill, Nancy and myself are clustered together. I had an incredible birthday weekend! It turned out that Bill and Christen were already scheduled to be in Austin for a friends daughters wedding that weekend, which is also Bill’s birthday weekend. My husband and I got together with them for lunch and margaritas. Two hours passed way to quickly. Love my cousins!!! Genuine and so easy to be with.

I know I use that descriptor frequently; ‘so easy to be with’ but it sums up, in just a few words, the comfort and personable nature my people exude.

On my Birthday there were cards and calls from my mom, husband and daughter and Hax family. All had heartfelt personnel notes included which always mean the world to me. Michael and I must have talked a dozen times that day. Late in the afternoon I noticed a missed call and voicemail.

“Hey, Robert. This is Teresa, your sister.I was calling to wish you a happy birthday and I hope you have a great day. We will talk soon and now you have my number.”

I cried. It was the first time I had heard her voice, a voice I thought I might never get to hear. She identified as my sister, that meant so much to me. It still does, just like it did that first day when Michael did the same.

We did talk not long after that for about an hour. It went very well with a lot of laughter and honest exchanges. We joked about similarity’s and differences of us, our father and our siblings. I look forward to meeting her and giving her a big hug!

My birthday continued into the next morning when upon waking I found yet another voicemail. It was my brother, his entire family and nieces and nephews singing me happy birthday and then going around the table each expressing best wishes. Best birthday…ever!!!!

I choose to end today’s entry with another song. Anyone who really knows me, knows what a big part music has and continues to play in my life. I listen to all genres of music from all eras. Music speaks to me, heals my soul and gives me inspiration and direction. Expect to see it show up with greater frequency as I tell you this story…

My family has grown in leaps and bounds over the last couple of years and its not thru growing yet. I grew up with a family and I still love them so dearly to this day. I created a family, my husband, Lane and our daughter, Sydney. My best friend Toe and his family. My ‘Steve Howard’ family…so many people throughout my life that I still consider family. And now this, the family I never knew existed, making their entrance with perfect timing.

I am truly the luckiest boy in the world!