IX. Mom

My life started out a bit rough. My mother, the one who gave birth to my brother and I , was not prepared to be a mom. She was young, unwed and carried scars she was still trying to heal from her own childhood. She could not keep us and let us go when we were less than two years old.

We were sent to live with our grandparents in Kansas, as our father was in the Navy and could not care for us. He eventually met a woman, they married and brought us back into their new family.

My stepmother, mom, had always wanted to be a mom. When she became aware that this man already had two children she embraced the situation immediately. An instant family suited her just fine. We were still very young and would not realize we had a stepmother for a number of years and even then, it really didn’t mean anything. She was mom!

Mom was the center of our world. She did all the things a stay at home mom did back in the 60’s and 70’s. She made holidays, and frankly everyday, special. No easy task given how financially challenged we were. She was there when we got up and there when we went to bed. There was a sense of security knowing that mom was always there. We took her for granted which I realize now, that I am a parent, meant that she was obviously doing her “job” very well. One is aware of an absent or poor parent. A good parent is simply a good parent as they are expected to be.

Mom would have 4 children of her own making it six of us to love and nurture. Financial strains would force her to seek employment outside our home in the mid 70’s. She still did all the things she did before while working an eight hour shift as well. I never felt neglected. She would work outside the home until she retired.

I have never felt like a step son. I am her son! I felt loved, wanted, needed…I still feel that way today. She is the greatest woman I have ever known. I draw upon the strength I observed in her when I was young and even today as she navigates her golden years. She is still so brave and fearless. Still curious about the world, embracing new experiences and new information. When we get on the phone we talk and laugh about this, that and everything. I truly cherish every moment I get to spend with her. They are to few.

I still get emotional, like I’m leaving home for the first time, each time we part and start planning our next visit even if it’s months away.

She is simply ‘Mom’. Such a small word to denote such a complex and all encompassing presence and influence in my life. She is my joy, my heart and the constant connection to all the golden memories of my childhood. What she gave, and continues to give, I can never fully compensate her for but, I will spend the rest of my days making sure she knows what she means to me and how blessed I am for having…Mom.

I love you, Mom.

Happy Mothers Day.